Every year, the week of my birthday, I take stock of where life is, where I’m at in it, what hopes / dreams / goals are for the coming year, what I would like to focus on, etc. And I shared some of that here on my birthday eve.
And then I awoke on my birthday to a beautiful email. The friend who sent it, didn’t even know it was my birthday, which made it a true gift. It was authentic, God inspired, and just what I needed to receive that morning. We were in a conversation about pursuing goals and dreams with what God had gifted us each to do. I had shared a few ideas about my photography and writing. And the advice I received is still ringing in my ears.... get inside your story. The context was geared toward writing and losing yourself within the story being written. And to start anything, one must begin. Whatever it is in life, we must take a step, and then another, and then another.... we will never achieve, grow, or move forward, if we do not begin.
Those two points flipped a switch in me.
I resonated strongly with the point to get inside my story. By nature, I’m a wallflower. An observer. I love to watch people. I have fears of both failure and success, thus I don’t try as hard as I could or ought. And for several reasons, I tend to just sit on the sidelines of life and watch. But as I get older, I have realized how much I would rather be on the field, in the game. I want to have a life full of interesting stories. But even more so, I want to be in the middle of the moment. I want to know that within an experience, I am taking it in, eyes wide open, and willingly participating.
As a photographer, getting inside my story is key. The observer in me has taken many safe shots on the sidelines, courtesy of my handy-dandy zoom lens. I can be there without disrupting the moment. But that position has also made me miss out on some incredible shots and experiences because I didn’t want to get my hands dirty. I was too afraid to speak up or ask someone if I could get in the thick of it and be a recorder of the moment.
But to get started and move in any direction that will be productive, it is essential I begin.
Yesterday, I realized a month of my 39-ness has already passed, and I wanted to check in with myself as to how I am doing with my theme.
The month of October, I took my camera everywhere with me. I really sunk myself into as many moments as I could. I shot almost 2000 photos (most of them aren’t any good and will not see the light of day). Of course, it was easy to be inspired as the autumn leaves were peaking in the mountains and amazing sights surrounded me. It was a great month of just being, seeing, and living.
I also focused on making time to write. Most of it was for me, just getting into the swing of writing again. It felt freeing to get words and thoughts out, especially thoughts or stories I’ve wanted to put down for a while.
Now I will admit, the last couple of weeks have been swept up in holiday retail schedules. The leaves are down, so although my environment is still beautiful, the urgency to catch a tree or a leaf right at that moment is no longer there. And, to be honest, I get complacent easily. I, too often, let the mess in my head distract me from the moment.
But even in the moments I didn’t produce something tangible, I have been aware of what is around me, I have been soaking in others’ words and contemplating them, using them as inspiration for a future work session. I also have been more proactive in sharing my work with others, listening to feedback and thoughts.
I look forward to the next 30 days and what God has in store as I continue to put one foot in front of the other, pause here and there to listen, keep my camera handy, capture amazing snapshots of life, and string thoughts together on paper.
The theme I want to live by this year motivates me. Just thinking it or saying it propels my imagination. What does it say to you?
get inside your story.... and begin.
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