The Necessity of Nothing

It’s actually happened... Something I have been notoriously good at, has now become an activity I’m horrible at. 

Relaxing..... 

How in the world did that happen??? Going full throttle (or close to it) for the last several months has rewritten the rhythm of my brain, my fingers, my toes. I must be doing something at all times. And it drives me nuts.
There’s always a to-do list in the back of my mind.... always a grocery list in progress on the countertop... always the dread of what must get done before the next day. 

My brain won’t quiet down. I watch the clock, trying to figure out the must-do’s against the want-to’s, and a lot times piddle-times win out not accomplishing anything. 

But tonight.... tonight after rediscovering a playlist I have on Spotify, I was reminded of how I used to sit in the dark in my bedroom years ago and just listen to music for hours. I miss those times. I miss daydreaming... and singing... and studying lyrics to songs.... perhaps even writing my own.... 

So even for just an hour, I want to get caught up in the music and let my mind wander....

Sometimes we just have to turn off the chaos of life and just be. It’s necessary to just do nothing.

It’s not easy, you know.... everything fights against the calm. 

And it could the simple stupid mundanity of life that rises up to get in the way.... wifi goes out and needs to be rebooted so you can stream music, the laptop decides to crawl at a snail’s pace and refuses to open the one app/program you need..... the dog (who has already been out 3 times since dinner) sits and barks incessantly because he is a cantankerous blind brat... (oops, guess that’s just mine.... ) 

Is it possible to just sit for any length of time and just enjoy the semi-stillness? 

But if it happens... if for a brief moment the dogs are still, the music is calming, the washer finally shut off, the brain slows down, the daydream comes into focus.... I pray you let the moment take over and just enjoy the stillness. 

Sloooooooooowwww Dooooooooowwwwwwwnnnnnnnnn

©sarampeters 2014

I’ve been so stinkin’ restless the last few days. I’m tired, worn out, irritable, and just done. 

I can’t quite pin it down, though I’ve tried: increased hours at work -- though a blessing to our financial struggle -- has kept me away from home and what I need (and want) to do, my circadian rhythm is off and I can’t get out of bed before 8am because I’m up until midnight each night, I’ve got so much to do I’m simply overwhelmed, the talking and being with people constantly has drained my tank and I’m on fumes and can’t get downtime to replenish and renew, the worries of money and life stuff is taking precedence in my thoughts.... 

I’ve noticed I’m piddling away a lot of time on my phone and on TV. I have to be doing something, listening to something, watching something all the time. My hands and brain are fidgety.  And I’m realizing how some of my time is outright wasted and I could have time to read if I didn’t piddle so much. 

And then today..... I was walking in my yard, snapping photographs of the daffodils, hyacinth, pear trees budding and dogwood starting to burst open... and it hit me -- 

I haven’t stopped. 

Even in my capture of images on a beautiful bright blue sky day, I felt hurried. There’s a freeze taking hold the next couple of nights and I don’t know what it will do to the blooms and buds. So I had to hurry and grab some photos so I had some good early spring pictures. 

And then as I stood under the Bradford pear tree, it dawned on me. I need to be still. I just need to stop and see what’s surrounding me, and really look and take it in and thank God for His miracles. 

Slowing down. Yes, it’s hard. But we must do it. It is vital to our health and existence to slow down and be still. The photo I took at the moment of this realization wasn’t even a good shot, but it reminds me of what I wouldn’t have seen if I hadn’t stopped. 

Taking an extra moment and deliberately gazing on the flowers opening on a pear tree came alive to me. The sky was extra blue and I saw several jet trails spanning horizon to horizon. The birds’ songs were louder. The air a little clearer. 

My heart a bit lighter, my head less fuzzy, my countenance softer.... 

Be still. 

Know God is God. 

Accept each moment with joy and as the gift it is.